Ilaria is about to leave. It is late: they wait for it to display the banner "Giustizia per Niccolò Ciatti" on the facade of Palazzo Medici Riccardi, in Florence. Exactly one year after the boy's death. Niccolò was 22 years old. On 12 August 2017 he was on holiday with his friends in Spain, in Lloret de Mar. He was dancing. There was a fight. And a bestial kick on the face has turned off the light. His and that of those who knew him and loved him, including his girlfriend Ilaria Inverso. The assailant, a Chechen boy, is in prison awaiting trial. Two others were arrested and then released, but they are investigated. Ilaria, 20, is used to talking about it, she feels; to control the tone of voice, even when it bends under a pain that time can only soothe. If it's too much it stops, but it's a matter of seconds.
What did you think when you woke up?
"Anything. Every 12th of the month there are initiatives for Niccolò. I'm not worse than the other days. For me, 12, 15 or 20 does not change ".
"The fear of losing what I have. I know I have wonderful people around. Nothing is missing – even if I do not forget what happened – but I struggle to have certainties. When you are 20, do not imagine to find yourself shaking the hand of your fiancé at the end of life ".
What do you remember about those hours?
"It was all so surreal, I could hardly remember many details. I was at home. I was sleeping when I looked at the phone, it was 5 in the morning. Simone, a friend of Niccolò, had called me twice. I called him back. I immediately understood that it was serious. I was dazed, I passed the phone to my mother. "
Is there anything you would do differently?
"The first few months were pure madness. This is also demonstrated by the fact that I published our photos and the messages we had exchanged on social media. I have always been reserved, I also quarreled with Niccolò because I did not want to put images too personal online. After his death I thought it might be useful for something, that we needed to keep our attention high. I was wrong. I was impressed to see how it all became public, a photo was even used as an e-book cover. "
To kill Niccolò was a boy like you.
"I learned the fight video by heart. At a certain point only anger takes over. I do not think it's normal people (it's about all three attackers, ed). At most, they will suffer a 25-year sentence: they are nothing for a twenty-year-old. "
The process has yet to start.
"It should start at the beginning of 2019. I have been informed and I know I can not testify: I was not present and we were not married. I still want to go to Spain and follow the hearings, even to stay close to his family. "
"We often talk, I'm ready for anything for them. I hope they know it. "
"For a while I had panic attacks, day and night; I thought I would not leave. He saved my work (he is an educator in a nursery school, ed): taking care of the children helps. I started doing some things that I did before. Others still can not. "
"Go clubbing. I tried again once in June, after a little over an hour I left. I felt a crazy expression. "
What would you say to those who were in a situation like yours?
"That will never pass completely, but time is a great doctor."
And to Nicholas, if I could talk to him now?
"Doing things right (doing things right, in Tuscany, ed). "
12 August 2018 (modification 12 August 2018 | 23:25)
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