From this sign, you will find out that your dating partner is asexual

Do you really like your date, but your usual attention-grabbing tactics, such as tight clothing, haven’t yielded any results? It is possible that the other person is asexual and you will have to resort to other methods to win his love.

The term and meaning of “asexuality” entered the public consciousness about 20 years ago, and since then, asexual people have been receiving more and more attention in scientific life. A recent study, for example, examined whether is there a difference between the way self-identified asexual individuals and individuals who identify as allosexual (i.e. people with “average” sexual attraction according to the social norm) they look at erotic and non-erotic images. Would you rather look at a scantily clad person or a beautiful sunset? From this alone, you can filter out whether you are asexual.

What is asexuality and what is allosexuality?

The allosexual people are able to feel sexual desire regardless of their libido and to whom they are sexually attracted. In contrast, it is 1 percent of society asexual people are not able to feel sexual attraction at all, rarely or only under specific conditions, regardless of their libido and who they are romantically attracted to. Contrary to misconceptions it is also not uncommon for an asexual person to be involved in cohabitation, since there are other motivations in addition to sexual desire, such as experiencing the experience of closeness or the desire to satisfy the beloved partner. Or lack of sexual desire it does not mean that they do not want to be involved in a romantic relationship either – these are aromantic people (who, by the way, can also be asexual, but these two are not mutually exclusive).

The symbolic flag of asexualityÐð¼Ðññðð¹ Ððñðñðµð² / Getty Images Hungary

To put it simply, both allosexuals and asexuals can be attracted to people of the same sex, the opposite sex, all genders, however, for those belonging to the second group, sexual desire is not as readily generated as for allosexuals, if they ever feel sexual desire at all. It is not caused by some trauma, prudence or illness, they are simply born that way (although, as with all groups, there may be overlaps and exceptions to these themes). Asexuality is the umbrella term for a spectrum in fact, which includes many different subcategories, diverse groups, for example such a demisexualswho live their lives as asexual, except when they manage to form an emotionally intimate relationship with someone, and after that they already feel sexual desire for that person.

Erotic images and the maintenance of attention: this is the difference between asexuals and allosexuals

Scientists have already discovered the connection between sexual attraction and maintaining attention: if we find something sexually attractive, we pay more attention to it, we look at it longer. However, asexual people had not previously been included in these experiments, so a pioneering team of researchers investigated whether there was a difference between how long they look at erotic and non-erotic pictures of themselves as asexual or allosexual religious individuals. A total of 30 heterosexual women, 26 heterosexual men, 18 asexual women, 13 asexual men and 8 asexual nonbinary people were included in the experiment.

If your dating partner is asexual, you need to attract his attention in other ways to make him fall in love with you, tight clothes won't do it

If your dating partner is asexual, you need to attract his attention in other ways to make him fall in love with you, tight clothes won’t do itgrandriver / Getty Images Hungary

The researchers erotic and non-erotic images were shown to the participants, placing one from both categories next to each other at the same time. To ensure that all participants look at both pictures placed in front of them, they also had to rate both pictures, how attractive they thought the two pictures were. However, in any case they only had 10 seconds to examine the pictures placed in front of them, so they had that much time to decide which picture to pay more attention to.

An eye movement tracking method was used for the collection of data, with which they were able to examine both instinctive immediate attention and selective controlled attention. Immediate attention did not yield conclusive results, but controlled attention did. The allosexual participants looked at the images with erotic content for a longer time, like the non-erotic ones. However the asexualsit worked differently: they both types were observed for the same amount of time, placed in front of them at the same time picture.

So it can be said that individuals who identify as asexual are less attracted to sexual stimuli, like their allosexual counterparts, which is also proven by their eye movements and attention distribution, since it is unlikely that a conscious decision produced the results in such a short time. So, if you want to turn the head of an asexual, you better come up with a new flirting technique instead of your usual attention-getting practices.

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