“Today I woke up, thought about you and it occurred to me, today must be your birthday!” Such and similar kitschy WhatsApp sayings are a dime a dozen on the Internet. And they have their raison d’être too – fitting for friends and family. Good friends, on the other hand, can also be sent a completely different type of WhatsApp message. And in terms of creativity, these can often keep up with the loveliest heels. We’re talking about funny insults that can now be delivered not only in person, but also digitally – via instant messaging services such as WhatsApp, Signal or Telegram.
We have put together the best and funniest Diss sayings. All you have to do is copy and paste this into the messenger of your choice, schoolwork-style, and then eagerly await your friends’ replies, which will hopefully be just as witty.
Funny insults for WhatsApp and Co.
Sayings for Intelligence Beasts:
- That’s a lot of opinion for so little knowledge.
- You education-resistant intelligence allergy sufferer.
- I’d mentally duel you, but I see you’re unarmed.
- The average IQ in each room drops as soon as you enter it.
- The only intelligent thing about you is your wisdom teeth.
- If stupidity glowed, I’d need sunglasses right now.
- I wouldn’t say you’re stupid, but I can write it down if you like.
One may still ask:
- Have you ever been chased through the library with a dictionary?
- Bread can mold, what can you do?
- On a scale of 1 to 70, what is your IQ?
- What did you look like before your accident?
- Did you bump into a wall too often as a kid?
- It’s getting dark already, shouldn’t you slowly get back into your garbage bag?
- Do you actually only use your head as a hat stand?
- As a bystander, what can you actually say about intelligence?
Diss sayings about the outer values:
- Oh, now that I see you, I just remember I have to take out the trash.
- The zoo called. The orderly is sorry and please come back.
- Now go to the pasture with the other cows!
- Your skin is like that of an eight-year-old orange.
- I knew the day was going to be ugly, but I didn’t expect you.
- Good news: You have been selected for the before image of a cosmetic surgery commercial.
- Are your parents chemists? You look like a failed experiment.
- may i take a picture of you I need something to get roaches out of my basement.
Other funny insults:
- Looks kinda cheap but suits you.
- You’ve got a lot going for it, even if it’s just plaque.
- If your parents had better gone for a five-minute walk.
- You are like a rain cloud. If you go away now, the day could still be beautiful.
- Who shook your cage to make you bird report back.
- A day without you is equivalent to a month-long vacation in the Caribbean.
- I would like to meet you again. With a rock or something…
- You are as useful as a goldfish on Mars.
- Almost eight billion people in the world and I had to meet you of all people.
- Just ten minutes with you and every abortion opponent is purified.
- You’re welcome to sit on the floor, he’s used to dirt.
- You are unique! Hopefully…
The Diss classics:
- I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you right now.
- If my dog had your face, I would shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards!
- Nice that you’re here; and not here.
- You, a one-off? More like a production error.
- There’s something about you… nothing.
- Your birth was another contributor to environmental pollution.
- If stupid could drive, you’d have to brake uphill.
Are insults punishable?
Funny insults shouldn’t cause scowls, but laughter. And that also applies to the diss sayings listed in this article. If you don’t want to use this as a joke, but for cyberbullying, for example, you should rather familiarize yourself with Section 185 of the Criminal Code. This is self-explanatory and leaves no room for interpretation: “The insult will be punished with imprisonment of up to one year or a fine and, if the insult is committed by means of assault, with imprisonment of up to two years or a fine.”
WhatsApp sayings for every occasion: