The moment has come, dear friends: We can now go through the wedding photos of Gwyneth Paltrow.
Paltrow and his new husband (who has a name, damn it) Brad Falchuk married in September, confirming her with a very simple Instagram photo.
Now Paltrow has shared photos of the big day in extreme GOOP fashion: exclusively on GOOP, with subtitles containing links to the elements used throughout the event that can be purchased via GOOP.
After analyzing the slide show of just 48 photos, we learned nine things we learned:
1. She had the good feeling that she was not planning a plantation wedding. (We still consider you, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.)
Paltrow and Falchuk have been charged in New York, reportedly at their Hamptons' home.
2. If you have not eaten pineapple held by a string over an open fire over 12 hours, overseen by a chef who flew 5,000 miles from Chile, you have not lived.
Argentine chef Francis Mallman made the trek, and it was Paltrow's "dream" that he was responsible for the tasting. (Who has a dream for rehearsal, is that something that women should dream of?)
Chef Mario Carbone took over the wedding day. Paltrow and Falchuk had their first date in one of his restaurants, and "having him cook for their wedding was a very special moment in the circle," reads the caption.
3. You have a wedding hashtag.
They are #the wrong dreams.
4. Throwing your grilled vegetables into a tarpaulin is acceptable.
It also takes four hours to grill vegetables.
5. Her wedding dress had sleeves.
She wore Valentino for the ceremony before turning into a Stella McCartney jumpsuit (with cape, what a life) for the dance floor.
6. Robert Downey Jr. gave a toast, and what he looked like was knocked down.
Unrelated to Downey, but just to note something else: Cameron Diaz was casually made up next to the bride. We have not seen Paltrow's ex, the consciously coupled Chris Martin.
7. Steven Spielberg still uses a handheld camcorder.
8. Rob Lowe likes to play air guitar on a dance floor for the wedding, just like all of us middle-aged mortals.
The guests danced the night to music of the 80s.
9. Your wedding slideshow could go through as a Pinterest board, and maybe it's just like us.
Is it just that all wedding photos, no matter how luxurious the occasion, somehow look simple? Such an illusion of kinship with Paltrow is shattered as soon as you discover the plates, without food, which cost about $ 57 per person and probably cost $ 285 for a throw pillow on an outdoor couch at the rehearsal evening.
But the links are there, if you are interested!
Go ahead and hate Goop. Gwyneth Paltrow has the last laugh.