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Long kisses can give you better health – NRK Sørlandet – Local news, TV and radio

– We kiss for a long time every day, three times a day, say Laudie Hoxha and her husband Abit Hoxha.

The couple knows that the long kiss binds them emotionally closer together.

– It feels like when we started dating, 10 years ago, they say and smile at each other.

Johanna and Theodor Kophe from Hamburg believe that kissing is the recipe for a good relationship.

Photo: Elisabeth Sandve / NRK

Tell: 1–2–3–4–5–6

Count to six inside you. How long do you have to kiss your loved one for the kiss to “work”.

– You get a release of oxytocin, which is the bonding hormone. When you get more of it in your body, you feel closer to your partner. You feel an increased closeness.

That’s what doctor Siri Dalsmo Berge says, who has written a self-help book for couples. She has taken the “6-second kiss” from John Gottman’s research. He is one of the world’s leading cohabitation researchers.

More than just an everyday kiss on the cheek?

– Yes, she says and laughs.

A kiss in passing does not have the same effect as standing close together and kissing for six seconds.

And that can feel like a long time for some.

Junior UIA

Laudie Hoxha and Abit Hoxha have been together for 10 years and she knew that six seconds of kissing was delicious.

Photo: Elisabeth Sandve / NRK

The butterflies are dancing

Out in the sun in Kristiansand stands a young couple with their two small children. They like to kiss for a long time.

– Six seconds felt wonderful, and I got butterflies in my stomach, says mum Johanna Kophe.

She is on holiday with her family from Hamburg.

– We think it is important that the children see that we are good to each other and kiss, says dad Theodor Kophe.

According to researcher and doctor Siri Dalsmo Berge, there is health in every kiss.

– Yes, I would say that. Kissing for a while affects the balance in relation to stress hormones, and reduces stress in the body, and it is good for the immune system and many other things.

Elderly couple kissing

Piet and Engelina Paffen keep the spark in their marriage by kissing passionately, even after 40 years of marriage.

Photo: Elisabeth Sandve / NRK

Lip contact creates a bond

Several of the couples we meet have been married for several decades. They still kiss.

– We have been married for 50 years, and kiss a little every day. That’s what Piet and Engelina Paffen say.

At Siri Dalsmo Berge’s GP office in Arendal, couples who struggle with cohabitation often come.

Then the doctor recommends more lip contact.

– Most people can do kissing, and it doesn’t take that long to raise the level of attachment hormones in the body, says Doctor Siri Dalsmo Berge.

But what if the kiss doesn’t create harmony?

Siri Dalsmo Berge is a medical doctor from NTNU, a specialist in general medicine and has further training in couples therapy.

Siri Dalsmo Berge is a specialist in general medicine and has further training in couples therapy.

Photo: Lina Hindrum / Cappelen Damm

Kissing can make everything worse

If the conflict is big in a relationship, convulsive tips about kissing can only make the pain worse.

Part interpreter Maria Mork thinks so. She has also heard of Dalsmo Berge’s book.

– Kissing can almost feel like an assault for a couple who are struggling and do not know emotional closeness, she says.

She points out that regardless of the type of closeness, couples must be open about the intention behind it, and understand what each individual needs to be close.

– I am skeptical that general advice is given to help all couples. It hurts worse for many, says Mork.

She often suggests a hug of over eight seconds, which is long enough for the stress in us to be lowered and the attachment hormone to be released.

Three sexologists about long kisses

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