RACHAEL Bland's devastating final podcast "You, Me and the Big C" reveals her wishes for her final days.
The 40-year-old died earlier this month with her "squashed" close family by her side.
She was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in November 2016 and shared her experiences as co-host of You, Me, and Big C.
In her last episode, the journalist said she wanted to spend as much "valuable time" with her three-year-old son Freddie as possible and that she wanted to see the moment they shared as "a good time."
Rachael also discussed emotional moments with her husband Steve and how she felt about dying.
She told the audience, "The way I handle it is not to think too deeply about it, because I think if you go too often into the rabbit hole, you're stuck on the floor – and it's not a nice place to go be thinking of these things.
"I know the situation I'm in, and I know I probably will not live much longer, but I do not think too deeply about it every day."
Rachael, a Mum from Cheshire, also told the audience how she coped with the disease.
She said, "I would not be able to watch Freddie without crying about him and I'd like to spend quality time with him – no matter what time I have left – I want it to be a good time.
"The same with Steve, if I cried over him every day, it would be a lot harder for him, and we would not spend nice times together."
She added, "That does not mean that there are no nights when we look each other in the eye and have a good old cry about it."
Rachael's husband Steve told his followers that his wife had died on Twitter and Instagram.
He shared the heartbreaking news and said, "Our brave, beautiful, wonderful, courageous Rachael died peacefully from her close family this morning.
"We are all heartbroken and the hole she leaves in our perfect little family will never be full.
"We will miss her so much, but we could not be more proud of what she has achieved in her 40 years, and we are truly comforted by the impact we have on so many lives.
"Thanks, Steve and Freddie xxx."
In April, the family physicians dealt the devastating blow that Rachel's breast cancer was incurable.
Her only hope was based on a clinical trial she did in May. But within two months, scans showed that her cancer had spread.
On Monday, Rachael posted her last message to the social media fans, revealing she had "only days left to live" and signed off with a heartbreaking "au revoir."
Yesterday, in a play Rachael wrote before discovering that her time was so cruelly limited, she shared her plans to prepare Steve and her three-year-old son Freddie for the day she would not be here.
She said she plans to wrap gifts for 18 years to ensure that her son gets a gift from her every year until he turns 21.
Rachael had written a treatise to her son, for Fred, who left him with advice, memories, and the words of his mother – to guide him as he grows up.
Sh hosted you, me and the Big C, with two of her best friends who also live with Cancer – The Sun Deborah James, 36, and Lauren Mahon, 32.
Heartbroken, Deborah said to the sun, "Although I am heartbroken, I am immensely proud of everything Rachael has achieved, and I am so blessed to have been a part of it.
"She was the most incredible support in my darkest times, she was the one I visited at 3 in the morning.
"And she's the person I want to call now to cry the phone, it does not feel real.
"We promised to turn the crap of cancer into a positive one, and it became our coping strategy, now it's Rach's legacy.
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"Today I hate cancer more than ever, but I want to scream louder than ever to make sure the incredible entertainment it has started continues.
"I am so proud to call Rach one of my beasts, and I am so thankful for the strength, support and love she has given me, that being part of her life and being able to show one person to the world and myself can do it really change. "
And Lauren tweeted, "Heartbroken, Steve, Freddie and family, I love you, I'm so sorry, xx."
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