Surname: Mary, the maiden, the stickleback.
Older: Between one and two years.
Appearance: Only your ordinary mother.
Wait, "mother"? I thought, you said She was a virgin? Right. She was. Type of.
How can you be a virgin? OK, how much do you know about sticklebacks?
Are they the fish with the sticky backs? Great, so not much. Usually, a female stickleback lays eggs in a nest, which are then fertilized by the male stickleback who has taken the trouble to build the nest.
Law. But Mary – found by researchers during an expedition to the Outer Hebrides – was discovered to be pregnant with babies. She did not lay eggs. instead she had dozens of stickleback embryos in her.
Impressive! Is she okay? No, she is dead.
Oh. The researchers decided to get the embryos by cesarean section, and Mary had to be "euthanized" to make this possible.
Oh no. However, this meant that 54 Stickleback embryos, who otherwise might have died, were born and had to live. So it's really a happy ending.
This is a roller coaster ride. And here's the best: It looked like Mary was fertilizing her own eggs. It was an immaculate stickleback conception.
Are you suggesting that one of her children is Jesus? Oh no. No I'm not. Definitely not. God, imagine the trouble we would get when we started to make accidental fish the true Son of God. We would never hear the end of it.
Is there a scientific explanation for this? There are three options. First, parthenogenesis, a system of asexual reproduction normally found in insects, lizards and plants. Second, Mary could be a hermaphrodite. Both options are excluded.
So what's left? Well, the researchers did some genetic testing on Mary's children and found that they all had gene versions that Mary did not have. That means they must have had a father.
"Really?" Yes. The current assumption is that Mary put her eggs to normal, but she ventured too close to a pile of already fertilized eggs from another fish, and some stray sperm penetrated her and instead of laying her, she became pregnant.
I wonder if that happened with … If you are going to argue that Jesus was not the result of a virgin birth, and that the true virgin Mary simply had something similar to Mary the Virgin, then please do not.
Say: "Maria's 54 fish offspring are a biblical miracle."
Do not say: "Now bring me 54 very small loaves."