Fawning & Freezing: The Trauma Response You Didn’t Know

The relentless pressure to optimize for connection in the digital age has a dark side, one increasingly understood through the lens of trauma response. A newly identified pattern – “fawning” – is gaining traction as a potentially *more* common survival mechanism than previously recognized fight, flight, or freeze. Ingrid Clayton’s new book, Fawning, isn’t a self-help guide, but a crucial examination of this behavior and its roots in trauma, offering a framework for understanding why so many of us prioritize appeasing others, often at significant personal cost.

Clayton, a clinical psychologist, meticulously details how fawning manifests as overly agreeable and accommodating behavior. This isn’t simply politeness; it’s a deeply ingrained survival strategy developed in response to perceived threats – often originating in childhood. The book’s power lies in its accessibility; Clayton doesn’t present fawning as a clinical diagnosis, but as a recognizable pattern of behavior many will find reflected in their own lives. This resonates particularly strongly in our current socio-political climate, where online harassment and performative outrage are commonplace, creating environments where appeasement can feel like the safest option.

The significance of this work extends beyond individual psychology. We’ve seen a surge in discussions around boundaries, toxic positivity, and the emotional labor disproportionately shouldered by marginalized groups. Fawning provides a crucial framework for understanding *why* individuals might struggle to establish healthy boundaries, and why people-pleasing can become a deeply ingrained habit. It’s a response born not of weakness, but of a desperate attempt to ensure safety.

Clayton’s personal disclosures are particularly impactful, lending authenticity and vulnerability to her analysis. She doesn’t shy away from acknowledging her own struggles with fawning, creating a space for readers to explore their own patterns without judgment. This is a departure from traditional psychological literature, which often maintains a detached, clinical distance.

The Forward Look: The identification of fawning as a distinct trauma response is likely to spur a wave of further research. Expect to see increased focus on the neurological underpinnings of this behavior, and the development of therapeutic interventions specifically tailored to address it. More broadly, this work could influence how we understand and address power dynamics in various settings – from the workplace to personal relationships. The challenge will be moving beyond simply *naming* the behavior to developing effective strategies for breaking the cycle and fostering genuine self-assertion. Furthermore, as awareness grows, we can anticipate a broader cultural conversation about the costs of constant accommodation and the importance of prioritizing self-preservation.